содржина
Many of us grew up believing that men are polygamous and women are monogamous. Nevertheless, this stereotype about sexuality is no longer relevant, our sexologists say. But what is more common today — the polygamy of both sexes or their fidelity?
«Men and women are polygamous by nature»
Ален Ерил, психоаналитичар, сексолог:
The theory of psychoanalysis teaches us that all of us, both men and women, are by nature polygamous, that is, simultaneously capable of experiencing multidirectional desires. Even if we love and crave our partner or partner, our libido needs many objects.
The only difference is whether we move on to appropriate actions or whether we make a decision and find the strength in ourselves to refrain from them. Previously, within our culture, a man had such a right, but a woman did not.
Today, young couples often demand absolute fidelity.
On the one hand, it can be said that loyalty forces us to a certain frustration, which is sometimes difficult to endure, but on the other hand, frustration is an occasion to remember that we are not omnipotent and we should not think that the world is obliged to obey our desires.
In essence, the issue of fidelity is resolved within each couple in different ways, depending on the individual experience and age of the partners.
“Initially, men were more polygamous”
Миреј Бониербал, психијатар, сексолог
If we observe animals, we will notice that most often the male fertilizes several females, after which he no longer participates in, say, incubation of eggs or in raising cubs. Thus, male polygamy seems indeed to be biologically determined, at least in animals.
But animals and people are separated by a long process of socialization. It can be speculated that originally men were more polygamous in nature.
By developing the capacity for devotion, they gradually changed this characteristic of sexuality.
At the same time, my patients who regularly go to certain sites for «sex shopping» confirm that there is some discrepancy between the behavior of men and women in such a situation.
A man, as a rule, is looking for a purely physical, non-binding one-day relationship. On the contrary, a proposal to have sex coming from a woman is often only a pretext, in fact, she hopes to subsequently build a real relationship with her partner.