содржина
“For a moment, the crowd was stunned in surprise.
And he said to them, “If a man told God that what he most wanted to do was to help a world full of suffering, no matter what the cost, and God answered and told him what he should do, should he do as he was told?”
«Of course, Master!» the crowd shouted. “He should be pleased to experience even hellish torments, if the Lord asks him about it!”
“And no matter what the agony is and how difficult the task is?”
“It is an honor to be hanged, glory to be crucified and burned, if the Lord asked for it,” they said.
“And what will you do,” the Messiah said to the crowd, “if the Lord speaks directly to you and says: I COMMAND YOU TO BE HAPPY IN THIS WORLD UNTIL THE END OF YOUR LIFE. What will you do then?
And the crowd stood in silence, not a single voice, not a single sound was heard on the slopes of the mountain and in the whole valley where they stood.
R. Bach «Illusions»
So much has been said and written about happiness. Now it’s my turn. I’m ready to say my bright word, motor!
Што е среќа
Happiness is when you are understood … (excerpt from a school essay)
Happiness is simple. I know it now. And happiness is actually in recognizing him.
Related Image:
Evening. Starbucks on Pokrovka, my friend and I are getting ready to leave on the twilight evening. I linger at the mugs for sale, I touch their ceramics, I look at the drawings on them, I imagine myself holding such a mug with strong, steaming coffee … I smile at my thoughts. Happiness. I see a girl sitting next to a table: she has “Pusya” written on her cup of coffee with a marker — that’s how she called herself when she ordered her Espresso or Cappuccino … It’s funny. I smile and again happiness. In the nightclub O.G.I. my favorite group, and the sound of their excellent acoustics pours into my ears like a miraculous balm, I hardly listen to the words, I catch only the state and mood of the song, I close my eyes. Happiness. And finally, I see a young man and a girl, they are sitting at a table, looking into each other’s eyes and holding hands. And behind their window is like a bast with a yellow, matte light. Like in a fairy tale, very beautiful. Happiness…
Happiness is in the twists and turns of destinies, things, events. As an author, an artist, a great strategist, you can take an ironic look at your life and think what you can “cook” out of this “good”. Blind, knead, create. And this will be the work of your hands, your reasonable talent; waiting for happiness from outside is a difficult science, a waste of time, at some point you still understand that each person forges only his own happiness, he doesn’t care about others … Sad? Yes, no, of course not. And when all this becomes clear and understandable, then you can begin to invent your own magical ways of obtaining Happiness; the most beautiful, the most inventive and the most magical.
Happiness is to be on time, to understand that you are on the right path, to be aware of your strengths and see the result of your actions. No need to try to be universal or, on the contrary, cut the tree of your happiness in the same shape as others. There is no and cannot be universal happiness just because we are all different. There will always be plus or minus, there will always be different recognition. However, the methods and approaches of this particular recognition may be similar.
Know your happiness.
The same life
U.e.noy read from an interview:
What is the most unusual and amazing gift you have received in your life?
— Yes, this very Life.
Life is bizarre, multifaceted and in constant change. Perhaps you just need to catch this rhythm — everyone has his own — the rhythm of change; catch the first, second, third and fourth beats, syncopated, and maybe even rhythm blues. Everyone has their own, everyone has their own melody. But to make life a beautiful, bright, memorable divertissement for you and others — this is, perhaps, a task for real heroes!
Every minute is filled with such a sugary amount of happiness that sometimes it becomes uncomfortable. And sometimes you sit in the evening twilight and think about fate, about the meaning of life, about the fact that a loved one is not close at all and will never become one, but … the very joy of what you think, feel, think makes you incredibly happy. And there is no “correct” attitude to something, there is a unique focus on life, your virtual fairy-tale world, that’s all. And you can see cold, rattling tones and semitones everywhere, or you can find light and warm leitmotifs without resistance and difficulty.
I look at the apple on the table. I think about what interesting colors it combines, I think what kind of paint I would take: kraplak red, lemon, and then I would also add aquamarine to the chiaroscuro border and ocher to the reflex … so I draw my picture, I choose the colors myself and I myself fill objects with meaning. This is my life.
The world is not outdated, boring, consisting of the same people, objects, moods, meanings, sub-meanings. He is constantly, literally every minute moving and reincarnating. And together with him we tumble in this endless run, we change, various chemical and physiological processes take place in us, we move and exist. And this is beautiful, this is happiness.
Happiness is always present. At this particular moment. Happiness has no past or future. “Happiness” and “now” are two almost related words, which is why you don’t need to catch Happiness by the tail. It is always with you.
It is only important to relax and feel.
happiness inside
Happiness is already within us and only within us. We are born with it, only for some reason later we forget about it. We are waiting for happiness to fall from above, we go to work, to business, to other people, we are looking everywhere, like a rolled up ball, for the most expensive, most necessary, most bright and precious — our only happiness.
Stupidity, deceit, because happiness is inside and you need to get to the bottom of it, find the right moves and habits to lure it out.
You will remember that once it was suddenly very cool, cool; you went somewhere with someone, went, rested, you felt on the wave, you had a lot of positive emotions, and it seems: this is happiness. But some time passed, your friends fled to their own business, you were left alone, and … your happiness … fizzled out? He left, shutting the door behind him. And there is some feeling of desolation, slight sadness, petty disappointment?
Dear reader, I may be wrong.
But happiness, in my humble opinion, is not tied by an invisible thread either to a person or to a specific case, object or event. It is impossible to catch Happiness like a Firebird, lock it in a cage, and then, passing by, look in and recharge with it.
When you learn to make yourself happy on your own (on your own means without someone else’s participation), and for quite a long time (for example, several days), then bingo, my friends, you are on the right track.
I say this not only because you will understand the law (technique) of getting joy from life, you will finally be able to make other people happy. The same theory works here as in love. “Until you love yourself, you cannot truly love others.” So it is with happiness: until you learn to make yourself happy, you will always demand that your loved ones make you happy, hence dependence, the acquisition of attention, love, care. Tenderness. And you?:)
So, the first rule of happiness: Happiness is independent. Depends only on ourselves. It’s inside.
Is happiness taught in childhood?
So I thought that no one teaches you how to be happy. Somehow it is global or something or not serious. Our dear parents face completely different tasks: children must be healthy, well-fed, well-educated, developed, friendly, study well, etc.
I remember, for example, even the opposite, it seems to me. I was taught (put into my head) that until you are smart, good, correct, etc., you will not be worthy … It seems that no one spoke so directly and loudly, however. The child’s mind is inquisitive and diverse in all kinds of fantasies, that’s why I thought: that if I don’t … such and such, then I won’t get attention, care, joy, warmth — read “Happiness in Life”. And such a picture can often take shape (wrong in my opinion) that you need to constantly and tirelessly prove that you are worthy (for) something and go out of your way to prove it to others. Instead of immediately starting to build your happiness and be happy.
Тажен.
However, when this understanding comes, you can dismiss all the “ifs” and just get down to business. For the construction of your Happiness.
Happiness — for whom?
— What do you want to be when you grow up?
— Happy.
You didn’t understand the question!
You didn’t understand the answer… (В)
Happiness is responsibility. I think that would be the right thing to say.
I will say more that you can and should be happy. And you must first make yourself happy — at least for some share, and then take on others. When you are happy, close people automatically become happy next to you — a proven fact.
In our culture, it seems to me, «Happiness for yourself» is considered as something selfish and ugly, it is even condemned and blamed. First for others, but about ourselves … well, somehow then we will take care of.
This is a matter of religion, it seems to me, and I deeply respect Orthodoxy, but I choose to make myself happy, and then make other people happy all my life. It is my choice.
I believe that a person must first build a base for a happy and joyful life, strengthen his inner spiritual core, create all the conditions for further happy coexistence, and then begin to make people around him happy.
How can I make someone else happy when I myself do not stand on my own feet, do not walk with a firm step through life, when I am gloomy / depressed / self-absorbed / prone to depression and melancholy? Gifting another while robbing yourself? Do you love sacrifice?
Perhaps sacrifice is beautiful and beautiful, but sacrifice is not a free gift, don’t be fooled. When sacrificing, we are always waiting for a reciprocal sacrifice (perhaps not immediately, but then it is necessary). If you formulate “victim” and behave like that, then I suggest remembering that no one appreciates the victims and no one then pays for the victims (because those for whom you decided to sacrifice yourself did not ask for it).
There are people who find their Happiness in the process of helping other people. Perhaps they are not completely and completely happy, but they are happy to bring good to the world, it brings satisfaction to them. This is no sacrifice. So don’t get confused.
I do not propose to live for yourself and only for yourself, do not see such a meaning in my words. I simply propose to change the process — the sequence of doing good — from yourself to the world.
Summing up, I will say that if your loved ones / loved ones do not agree with your paths to happiness (new job / business / hobbies), using safety nets (stable work, investments, connections, etc.) do what you think is necessary for building your own happiness.
Although I’ll mention here too: if the attempts are unsuccessful all the time, and your loved ones realize that you just got bored and there is no happiness in your undertakings, they will stop believing you. Do you need it? Make responsible decisions about your path. Good luck!
Is it my happiness or someone else’s?
My favorite topic. I treat it with trepidation, because … because we have a lot of everything alien, in my opinion. Now I will explain. When a child grows, he absorbs everything. He understands what is good, what is bad, what is right and what is wrong, forms his values, views, judgments, principles.
Smart people say that a person can no longer invent anything new in terms of, for example, life values. All values, such as: family, work, personal growth, sports, health, pet care, etc. already been thought of before. He just peeped / peeped it from someone and took it for himself.
It turns out to be much easier to take than to give back, especially if what was appropriated has already grown, taken root and become completely native. Our parents very often on their own, without our participation, form goals for us — our paths to Happiness. This is neither good nor bad, but often these paths are their own.
Wise parents of children, of course, educate and teach. Only they do not write in black and white “how right”, but how “wrong”, but explain that after such and such behavior the consequences are such, and after another — the consequences, respectively, of a different nature. They provide a choice. If not always, then often. And give the child the right to make mistakes and break his nose on his own. Most importantly, at the first new experience, they sit down with the child and together they analyze what happened; ponder, make a joint awareness and conclusion.
Let us be wise parents, a child is a dear, close, beloved person. But this is a different person, already separate and independent in his own way.
I heard that parents, no matter how they treat us, need to be told only two things: that we are happy and that we love them. It turns out that this is the most important thing for them.
And wise children, in turn, are all wise children, right? At 17-18, you may still be thinking about which way to go, and at 20-22 you are already ready to take responsibility for your choice and your life in your own hands; start working, choose your path and your business. Your image of Happiness — your colored mosaic of images — is collected every day, formed and shaped, and you are already able to start laying out your picture of a happy life.
You should always look ahead and boldly take on a task, even a new one. You are full of strength, health and energy. Full speed ahead!
If you are thinking and pondering where to put your healthy energy and enthusiasm, I will offer several criteria for recognizing your business / path:
1) You can constantly (very much) talk about it;
2) You can coherently explain why you want it (clearly and sensibly, sometimes sometimes just emotionally, but I believe it with a bang);
3) You always want to develop and improve in this (move forward);
4) You can draw an image for yourself of how it will be (even when you yourself do not fully believe in it and there are no funds for it);
5) Each new step gives you strength, energy and self-confidence;
6) To implement your business (choice), you use a full or almost complete set of your talents and abilities. You correctly apply and use them;
7) Your business is necessary and useful to other people. Demanded.;
8) You see the result of your actions, and this is the gratitude of the people around you.
And, of course, when talking with you, your eyes will tell everyone: if they burn at the moment when you talk about your goal, your business, then everything is right, your goal, and then you are on the right path — to Happiness.
Happiness is a process?
Many see Happiness as a haven for the strong, persistent, harsh, wise. That happiness is achieved, it must be reached.
For people who build happiness from several points (usually material ones), happiness at some point may seem like a toothy chimera that cannot be caught by the tail, and by no means a grateful haven. Why is this happening?
Happiness really loves the wise, so let us be them.
I already wrote that Happiness cannot be tied to something or someone, happiness lives inside the person himself, which means that it cannot be achieved in time and space (it is always with us).
Another thing is whether we managed to discover this source in ourselves, make friends with our happiness, make it our assistant in life.
If Happiness is presented as an ultimate goal, then after its achievement, life either must end (and why continue to live when the over-goal is reached?), Or a person will understand that he is well done, he has achieved, but Happiness somehow does not come to him rush to come.
The fact is that achieving goals can make us rich, successful, beautiful, healthy, confident, and anything else, but not happy.
If you start interrupting me here and remember how happy you were when you met that girl or that guy and how you jumped to the ceiling, I won’t believe it. Why? Because it didn’t last long. It was euphoria, joy, a feeling of good luck, success, but not happiness.
HAPPINESS is a long, long process (like the times continues in English). Happiness always lasts.
We derive from this the second rule of Happiness:
Happiness is a process. Happiness always lasts.
The second rule of Happiness is directly related to the first rule, if you think about it. As long as we live, happiness is within us, which means that it is always with us, lives and breathes with us. He dies with us. Amen.
Happiness — in comparison?
When I was writing this work, I had a separate topic dedicated to understanding where happiness comes from (where it comes from, in other words, because very rarely people go to it on their own and consciously). I thought, recalled my own experience, interviewed people.
One technology has found itself. I’m telling.
Quite often I heard such arguments that happiness is, for example, “when you are scared and afraid, and then everything is really good”, or “Happiness is rain, and then a rainbow …”, etc. And America opened up in my head: happiness is in comparison.
Of course, you remember a few good old jokes about this. About how a friend advised a friend to buy a goat to feel the joy of life, or ironic advice about wearing shoes that are a size smaller than usual.
We usually laugh at such things, but we do not always fully understand all the salt and homespun truth of folk wisdom.
After analyzing my own and other people’s emotions and response patterns, I realized that in order to make a person happy, he does not always need to do “good” (at least, this may not always work to the extent that I would like); in order to make a person happy, you must first make him — pardon my French — “bad”, and then “good” (you don’t even have to try too hard in the second stage, the main thing is that there is a difference between these two). Well, that’s all, perhaps: now you know the magical technology of making humanity happy.
I’m joking, of course, you can know this, but it’s still not worth applying.
Moreover, if you ask people if they like this kind of life, they will say that they are quite satisfied, and agree that everything is known in comparison. Even psychologists say that anger, anger and resentment are needed if only because to understand what Happiness is, which means they need to be experienced, and not kept in oneself.
On the other hand, I now think: why does a person have such a short memory? If you think logically, then for self-preservation: a person cannot constantly experience vivid emotions, experiences in absolutely all events in his life, remember all the realizations that came to his mind, and use his accumulated experience here and now: his head simply could not stand such loads. If we were all so wise, perhaps psychology would not be needed.
It turns out that sagging in a moment of non-happiness, and then returning to happiness, we recognize the difference emotionally and physiologically and feel the difference in drops (the so-called delta of states). Hence the intensity of sensations.
If we talk about the moments of living happiness — positive moments in life, here we can mention the principle of «increasing the dose.» There are people who need more and more every time, that is, to maintain the quality of life, their body requires an increase in the dose of happiness or the corresponding hormones in the blood.
Here I will recall the training «World of Emotions» and «Graph of the Emotional State». Many people, when asked about what kind of mood they would like to order for themselves for a day, a week and a lifetime, refuse the strong state “The world is beautiful”, choosing to pair it with others that are lower in terms of indicator. Usually coaches explain this by the fact that people simply do not know what colors and states the “World is beautiful” level can include. Perhaps a similar process occurs with happiness. And people intuitively look for (wait, demand, find attractive) situations of change from plus to minus and vice versa, because they do not know that all situations can be good and can be lived as necessary and useful — happy. It turns out that with all the diversity of life, truly happy people remain happy and do not rot in their “happiness”.
And where the rest seem to ride a roller coaster, either falling into the abyss or soaring to the skies, receiving a considerable share of endorphins in the blood in half the cases and calling it happiness, they live in their unpretentious everyday life and polish their small and big joys of life, firmly realizing their real value.
Tips and Recipes for Happiness
Reasoning on the topic is wonderful, but you also need to teach how. If teaching Happiness was that easy, I would reach millions of people and make a huge amount of money, and I would be unspeakably happy at the same time.
I will give a general direction: first more theoretical, then practical. I am sure that everyone will succeed, the main thing is desire.
- Happiness is the work of only your hands (no one ever promised to make you happy, therefore, be kind, make yourself happy);
- Happiness is in flexibility in relation to the world and oneself. Throw away everything black, white and principled and you will find out that the world is full of different colors. In order to be happy here and now, you need to be different: kind, evil, friendly, gooey, enthusiastic, boring, etc., the main thing is to understand why you are in this mood now, what it works for;
- It follows from the second. Turn on awareness, do not let life take its course, be the author / owner of your life — set goals for yourself and achieve them;
- Be attentive, curious and enthusiastic. In other words: be a child.
- Appreciate what is here and now. The mere fact that there are arms, legs and a thinking head is already great!
- Separate the important from the unimportant, the wheat from the chaff. Turn on healthy indifference where it is necessary and possible, work and make efforts where it is required;
- Love the world and yourself in this world! Trust, help people, be active and cheerful. What surrounds you is what is inside you.
- Sometimes it is worth thinking about death, about the finiteness of life. Steve Jobs wrote that every evening he went to the mirror and asked himself: “If this was the last day of my life, would I want this day to go like this?” And if for several days in a row he answered negatively, he changed something in his life. I urge you to do the same.
- Believe that everything will work out. Necessarily.
Now let’s move on to practice:
Recipes for happiness
- Number one: hang stickers around the house with encouraging quotes that encourage life, work and joy. Bright, loud, resonant. Change according to your mood and how you feel what has already been built into life;
- Recipe two: live life moments and pictures that have become automatisms blurred your eyes, like something new. Indeed, they are new. Even in solids, there are molecules that are constantly moving. What can we say about a person whom every day you can discover and learn in a new way!
- Recipe three: listen to cheerful, positive, bright music. Music creates the background of life. Remember what music is uploaded to your player. If it is rock, heavy metal, then the life leitmotif will also shine with the colors of heavy basses and noisy guitar strings. Compose your new collection that will lift your spirits, encourage you to song, work and smile. Hooray!;
- Recipe four: shift the focus of attention from yourself to the outside world. Be attentive and you will immediately see how other people live, what clothes they wear, what they eat, listen, what they are talking about. Imagine that you are a correspondent or a writer, you need to observe and write down everything interesting, everyday, beautiful. Make each observation a vivid creative mise-en-scène; catch slang, manner of speaking, intonation, gestures, pauses, adverbs. Perhaps you will discover in yourself an artist of words or a director. Forward!
- Recipe five: make quick decisions. This does not mean that the decision should be thoughtless, it means that it should not be made in agony and chewed, retelled, sucked many, many times. I decided — I did it, then I decided something again — I did it again. More rhythm of life and self-confidence;
- Six: think less, talk less, do more. Think less — for people who like to engage in beautiful demagogy and savor the idea … Talk less — for those who think a lot and still say it to their friends and acquaintances. More movements per unit of time. Thinking, consulting is important, but everything is good in moderation. Even if you make a mistake, it’s also good, it’s an experience. Now, based on experience, you can make more informed decisions and go towards the goal .;
- Seven: Imagine that you are the protagonist of a movie that you yourself are watching. The hero is quite likable and deserves trust and faith. In the course of the picture (life), the hero has to deal with various events. How does your character react? How would you like him to react in order to still remain at the level of trust and respect? The trick is that you are not just a spectator, you are also a director, director, and chief scriptwriter. You are even a make-up artist and a costume designer, an artist and a decorator. You know all the tricks and secret recipes for YOUR hero to remain a real hero … so help him be one .;
- Eight: remember the exercise «feeling pleasure», catch pleasure from simple everyday things and processes, get and create a buzz for yourself at any time .;
- Nine: arrange small holidays for yourself, organize joys. Going to the cinema, theater, nature; new acquaintances, books, hobbies, dishes.; look at how successful, happy people communicate, behave, look at life. Adopt experience, gain images, pictures of a happy life. Then you will understand what you want to go and strive for, then you will get there faster..
Happy people management
I reason. I thought about politics (it’s not only nice to talk about psychology) and realized that even in a democratic (why “even”, by the way, “especially” in a democratic) state, it is necessary to have special levers to control people.
Each country has its own laws and styles of behavior of citizens, which means that it is possible to derive formulas (technologies) for the influence of organs on such a society.
Unhappy people are easier to manage, manipulate, there are many points of dependence, leverage. Who needs eternally happy people who are able to survive and rejoice in any situation? On the contrary, such mechanisms are needed so that people can be made “bad” — to divert their attention from global political trends or for a lesson — so that they know how it can be if they don’t react as they should (remember Khodorkovsky, explosions in the metro, Domodedovo) .
A happy person is a very conscious person, and he is aware of everything that is happening not only inside him, but also outside. This person is a leader, not a follower, so it is very difficult for him to find channels of influence. And what government needs it? Do you agree?
Be aware, be happy, believe in yourself. Good luck.